Self – Care…Wait, Self - What?Part 2…Meeting Our Needs Through Action
How is it going learning your self-care language by beginning to define your needs? In order to care for yourself and your being, you need to have a working knowledge of what exactly you are trying to care for – defining your needs. Knowing what you need provides some guidance and direction towards identifying how to meet those needs.
The task of self-care is determining what feels caring and nurturing to your body, mind, emotions, and spirit in order to meet your needs. However, this can be somewhat of a catch 22, because the more you engage in acts of self care, the more you become aware of your own personal cues alerting you to what you’re needing. So while you continue to build a rich language and understanding of your needs, let’s also put some action behind all that insight! Here are four tricks to help you a self-care routine that works for you.
1. Engage the Senses
Do a little self-experimentation to determine what pleases your senses…
Sound can have a powerful effect on your mood. For me, I love how I connect with certain songs and instantly feel happier, calmer, or at times even just more connected in my current sadness. Experiment with how sound impacts your body and being. What do you notice in listening to the rustling of the wind or the crashing of the waves?
Try different flavors, temperatures, and textures to engage your sense of taste and notice what happens. Maybe you have a favorite hot tea that calms you down, or a favorite piece of candy that brightens your spirit. It can even be helpful to think back to childhood and a meal or food that brought a sense of comfort. (Side note, for those struggling with their relationship with food, it can be helpful to engage a helping professional to support you in exploring the role of taste as it relates to your self-care routine).
Smell is one of the most fast acting senses to impact our current mood and feelings. (This has to do with how we process smells and memory, but that’s a neuroscience breakdown for another day). Have you noticed how a quick sniff of a familiar scent can take you back to a particular memory, and all the emotions that accompanied it? Use those memories to help you pinpoint scents that have a positive impact on you. (Disclaimer, just as smells can quickly bring up positive experiences, smell can also be very triggering to unpleasant and traumatic memories. Maybe start with some essential oils that you are more commonly exposed to, such as lavender or peppermint).
Vision…what scenes and sights are compelling to you? Maybe it’s portraits or paintings, real or abstract? How do colors impact you? Maybe close your eyes and create different scenes in your mind, manipulating the scene to best match you and what you need. There are so many rich ways to stimulate our sense of sight. From walking in nature, to art galleries, to even going to a bookstore and sifting through coffee table books. Enjoy the journey of connecting with your sense of sight.
The sense of touch can have a deep impact on the body at a very cellular level. While physical touch from others can certainly become part of your self care routine (from non-sexual touch like a massage or hug to physical touch around acts of sex), part of self care is learning to take care of yourself without depending on others to provide that sense of care. Challenge yourself to experiment with how the sense of touch can be part of your self-care routine outside of your relationship with others. Maybe that means wrapping in a cozy blanket or taking a warm bath. Worry stones, stress balls, silly putty, and bags of sand can also be powerful ways of releasing energy and calming the body.
2. Prioritize Time for Yourself
While many people may speak to the importance of self-care, their day-to-day actions may not reflect this priority. If self-care looks like ten minutes a day to shower and brush your teeth, maybe challenge yourself to try to devote an extra five or ten minutes a day to taking time for you. While it is unrealistic to expect ourselves to engage in self-care 24/7, set a goal for yourself that feels realistic to achieve on a regular basis and slowly work to achieve that goal. Devote time each day to yourself and caring for you, which may mean saying no to other things.
3. Enlist Friends and Family
With all the unique and creative ways to care for ourselves, the people around us can be powerful resources in helping us develop our self-care routine. See what your friends and family do for their self-care. Maybe they go to a fun fitness class or are part of a meditation group, try out some of their ideas and maybe even ask to join them sometime. Making parts of our self-care routine a social outing can help with accountability. Conversely, if the people around you are also struggling with self-care take note of this. Energy is contagious and it can be helpful to have people in your corner sharing similar values and goals.
4. Try new Things
Even the most solid of self-care routines can become stale over time. If you do even the most enjoyable thing every day for years, it will start to lose some of its initial magic. Change things up, try new things, see what you like and don’t like. See if you can find the joy and pleasure in learning to care for you. Give yourself permission to be a beginner as you try out new activities all in the name of self-care. You have this one body to carry you through life, practice taking care of it!
(January 2016)
