Here’s to A New Year of You!
Personally, I am not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. Or rather, I am not a fan of waiting an entire year to take inventory of the things working or not working in life, only to establish unrealistic goals that seek to obtain perfection over reality.
I do however appreciate how a new year offers a wonderful and tangible point to hit the refresh button in our life. In reality, New Year’s resolutions do not fail us, but we fail them when we no longer approach our goals with a state grace, a state of self-compassion, but rather a state of perfectionism. This is a sure proof recipe for burnout, and disregarding resolutions before we even enter February. Instead, my challenge to us is to approach this New Year with more intention, for intentional goals are durable and doable. Working towards the healthiest you cannot be a once a year occasion. As 2017 approaches, consider these 5 tips for this new year of you.
1. Honor Where You are (and By Extension, Where You Are Starting From)
So many times we set ourselves up for defeat by a sentence that sounds similar to, “But others are ____.” Sure, there will always be someone with a different path, but their journey in no way diminishes or exaggerates yours. What would it be like if you could let go of the belief that you are somehow less than or more than because of your story? This world benefits from the diversity of those who share this space. When you practice self-compassion for yourself and what you’ve experienced, you’re more likely to find confidence and acceptance in both yourself and others. In this New Year, may you honor your story by working towards goals that reflect who you are and where you want to grow.
2. Make More Time for that Which Inspires You
When do you feel most inspired to be the healthiest you? In times of silence, activity, prayer, creativity…? Find that space that propels you to dream – for yourself, for others – and then do more of that. By doing more of that which fills your spirit, you give yourself the gift of doing the work that prevents you from settling for a life less than you deserve. Reflect on how you are spending your time and whether or not that matches your goals. Life gets busy and it is our own responsibility to carve out time for self care. Remember, self-care is far more complex than doctor’s appointments, nutrition, and physical activity. Allow 2017 to be the year you more fully explore what self care means to you by trying new ways of caring for yourself, your spirit and your being.
3. Learn to Say No As a Complete Sentence
Your worth is not contingent on what others derive from your existence. While you are important and meaningful in this world, there will also be others who can fill a role when you need to say “no.” It is perfectly okay to say “no,” and it becomes imperative to say “no” to others so you can say, “yes” to yourself. Healthy relationships with others start with healthier relationships within ourselves. In order to do more of that rich self care in the new year, you will need to carve out more time for you, which often means setting different boundaries (with work, with family, with friends…). May the New Year provide you a fresh opportunity to practice using your voice and speak up for what you need to promote the intentions you are setting for yourself.
4. Increase Accountability for Your Own Life
Acting lovingly and compassionately towards ourselves also requires having the difficult conversations with ourselves. Take an honest assessment of the helpful and unhelpful things you are doing (or not doing) and challenge yourself to show up for yourself by changing the patterns no longer serving you. You are strong enough to take ownership for your story, and in doing this you break the power others hold over what happened or didn’t’ happen. Your past does not dictate your future, allow yourself to stop acting as though it does. May 2017 be the year you show up more for yourself.
5. Surround Yourself More with Those Celebrating and Appreciating You and What You Are Working Towards
You are strong, and capable, and only human, which means a strong support team of people who get you and what you are all about is essential in achieving the goals you have for yourself. Our healing tribe can help carry us in moments when we feel we have no more fight left in us and hold a mirror up to offer more clarity in times of uncertainty. Be mindful of who you are allowing to take space in your life. Be sure the people you surround yourself with help build you up and encourage you in your journey. It is hard to work towards a healthier you when the people in your corner do not reflect that same energy back to you. May this new year of you offer you added encouragement to have relationships truly deserving of you.
(January 2018)
